They're Taking Over!

I started my first day of college today. Not as exciting as my pre-fall class, though. There were a hellva lot more people, all of which too shy or too cool to say hello. I was kinda put off because the school decided to change my math class at the very last second causing me to wander around campus like an idiot. There were a few other people in the same predicament as me. It's like, we are the very last to start school. This should've been settled sooner, but I digress.

The point of this really is that I came to school expecting a shitload of paper work assignments, especially in my new math course. But no! Nothing at all! Everything I do is online! My math homework, my quizzes, my exams, my readings, my essays, my classroom discussions. I'll never have to leave my laptop again!

And I still don't know if I like that or not.

I mean, my high school was "technologically advanced" too. They gave us laptops, we had fancy projectors, online credit, teacher servers to turn some of our crap into, but nothing as sophisticated as my college's system. They tell me it's all in preparation for a swine flu outbreak in case the school has to close (I don't know about the rest of the country, but shortly after a few cases were found in Washington, certain schools were closing left and right). But this is all a guise!

My teachers really being brainwashed by robots! Swine flu was created by robots! Mexican robots in rebel of the boarder patrol! They're trying to hit us where it hurts. Making it so we'll never have to pick up a pencil again. We will lose all sense of humanity and grow to love only the machine. We will rely on only chat rooms to meet new people. We will only LOL, never really laugh. Our sex will turn into text from smutty novels, literally! Our babies will be nothing but avatars. If there's ever a power outage, the majority of the population will commit suicide. Our mouths will slowly evolve shut forever! We will morph into our chairs, couches, and beds until we become nothing but chairs, couches, and beds. And once they've won, turning us all into mindless zombies, the Mexican robots will invade our country and take all the jobs that we don't want.

It's a conspiracy!

That and I really gotta stop drinking soda before I go to bed.